You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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