we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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