you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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