i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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