We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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