i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
