just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
