WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
