Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
