we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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