..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
