Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
