Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
