I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
