the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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