are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
