We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Floor bacon is actually really good
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
