she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
