Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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