So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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