whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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