I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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