Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
