bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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