I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
