I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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