There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Randomize
