wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
