thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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