i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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