All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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