New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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