Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
