Already got asked if we're dating
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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