I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
