I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You need Xanax blowdarts
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
