apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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