walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
