You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
