If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
