I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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