yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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