She is in my trunk
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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