and you said cock pushups were impossible
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize