So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I touched a dick in church today
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
