I got chris browned last night
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
