I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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