So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
