I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
