Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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